I played this guy in chess tonight and he was so mean. He didn't even beat me that badly, but he was so horrible about it. Yeah, I was joking around and saying some nasty things myself, but he was linking my performance on my chess ability to the person I am in real life. I hate that when those people do that because you just can't say 'you're wrong, that's sick to say that one game of chess determines the kind of person I am' (I did that)...I couldn't do that because simply, I was losing the game. I didn't take the guy seriously when we started, but he was really good. I just hate it when they rub it in like that and there's nothing I could do about it. Who cares...doesn't phase me that much...I'm playing two games right now to make up for the losses (I played this other increadible guy who claims he's 12 and that his grandfather taught him chess, which i highly doubt). You know, I bet these people are using computer programs to win too...actually I've done that a couple of times...it's really fun to beat some amazing players by cheating sometimes, but not all the time. Using your own instincts are good too. Especially when you win. Oh man, I'm so competitive. I love to win and I hate to lose. I don't know how to just let it go sometimes...and that's a real pain in the ass.

Damn! It's almost 4 am. I was up this late last night...over at Jason's...that was some fun...they were all high as hell and I messed around with them because I got there late. Most of the people were there the time I got really wasted and started yelling at myself in the mirror...that was a long time ago, like at least more than a year ago now. They said that I was much better last night than that time. They even said that I was hilarious...

God Damnit...Joe just came in here and told me to make a horrible move then left and said 'night, FUCKER.' I have a great brother...I bet I'm going to lose now, to this horrible player, rated 1100 (very horrible, considering I'm like 1270 something and obviously, I suck).

I need a job because this chess playing really is starting to hurt my brain. It's a love/hate relationship you know?

By the way, rent Ghost World...it's pretty good.