Will work for a life

2002-06-01 @ 5:07 p.m.

Arugh! I'm so bored out of my freaking mind! Sometimes I'm having fun just doing nothing, but then I feel so empty, so worthless. Why should I feel guilty for having fun? Well, maybe I'm having too much fun though. I stayed up until about 5:30 am last night after playing chess. I ended up beating the guy that Joe told me to make a bad move against, so that made me feel better. However, I was really tired after that and it was so late that I went to bed when the sun was starting to come up! Boy that felt weird. I was surprised that I woke up at 12:30 this afternoon because I expected to wake up later. So what did I do today? Played more chess here at budig, where I am now...I'm so freaking addicted! That doesn't make me feel too great though, being on the computer all the time. I'll say it once and I'll probably say it again...I need a freaking job! I don't care if it will suck, I just need to feel productive, like I'm getting something done. So therefore, I'm going to go out on monday and apply at some more places. With my parents being back in town, the pressure should be on for me to accomplish this goal. I hope my dad doesn't kill us for Joe's breaking the garage window with an errant shot with the basketball yesterday...why do I always get in trouble? I just need to get a job to stay out of trouble too. So along with getting paid, there are many many reasons why getting a job is the right thing to do. It's not like I have been saying that getting a job isn't the right thing, its just that deep down inside, I just don't want to work. Unfortunately, that's the wrong attitude.

Why does life treat me like this?

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