Things Behind The Clouds

2002-08-13 @ 11:20 pm

Man, my depression is paying me a little visit tonight. It's probably because I'm a fat dumb shit. I just needed to get that out. I really don't think that way. I used to think that way all the time, but this past year changed all of that. I don't really care if anyone judges me for who I am. It's just that I set goals that I sometimes try to achieve too quickly. I end up trying to reach them the wrong way, hurting myself in the end and leaving me where I am right now.

I guess if you add to the fact that I haven't talked with Madeleine for 3 days says something too for me being so down. I want her to be here so badly that it's so painful to think about. Well, at least I'll get to talk with her tomorrow and then she will be here on Thursday.

Man, I just need to snap out of it! I'm turning really soft...both physically and mentally ;) My brother beat the shit out of me tonight. Punched me right in the ribs...for no reason whatsoever! I guess I did the right thing by making him leave. He and Ann are having a pow-wow in her room anyway. Finally some peace and quiet.

I'm talking with Jason's ex girlfriend now on AIM. It's making me feel much better. Sometimes it's just good to talk with people to help forget what you were so down about.

I feel better now. Madeleine's coming back in 2 days!

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