Today was good...make that pretty damn great. I needed today! I've been down lately from things here at home. I really can't talk about it on here because it is very personal, but I'm trying to start writing in a paper journal to help me get through this new obstacle in my life. I get so down and depressed at random times and it's very difficult to snap out of it. The worst times are when I'm in class trying to learn...it's so distracting! But today I've gotten much better at getting all of this stuff out of my head.

Whatever happens, happens, you know? Thats just the way life works. You'd like know what's really going on, but what fun would it be without a little suspense? But sometimes it goes a little too far where it doesn't become funny anymore and it frightens me to be where I am and I just want it all to end and get better again, but life doesn't want it that way. It will end when life wants it to end...no question about it. And that, folks, is what's so frustrating about this whole mess. Wow, there, I just spewed what was on my mind. Vague, yes, but I think this works.

Man, I bet so many people would dislike Nick Drake's music, but I think it's awesome. Yeah, it's depressing, but it's so relaxing at the same time. It's great. It actually makes me go to sleep at night.

Pearl Jam's new cd is going to be called 'Riot Act.' Yes, only I care.

I thought I flunked a Geography test that I took on Monday, but I got a high C/low B on it. I actually did better than the majority of the class too! And my other classes are going well too. Sometimes I feel stupid and get really down about that, get tired of working so hard without seeing progress. But I think it's working out...I always seem to bounce back from bad test scores to get really good grades in particular classes. I don't get it sometimes. But of course, I'll take the grade...especially if I know I deserve it.

Band is going OK. Our next show is Elvis and it's pretty easy. I'm getting tired of getting yelled at for petty mess ups, even if everyone does too. I definitely work better in a positive environment, I've said this every year and it's getting better this year, but it still happens too much. I think Keith said it best today when he said that we should be the closest group in the entire band. We must all be friends and quit yelling at each other and just worry about your section (ie. snares yelling at basses and vice versa a no-no). I totally agree with this. Keegan yells too much at all the sections, as much as I respect the guy, it kind of makes me annoyed. And I certainly didn't appreciate Matt Lipponcott (drum line section leader) asking our section if we were going to 'shut the FUCK UP today.' Yeah, like we're the one's talking. We're not, really. It just gets tiring dealing with all of this. Plus we are together so much all the time. Sectional until midnight-thirty last night, rehearsal today, night rehearsal for a concert tomorrow, rehearsal and concert Friday, game all day on Saturday! I mean, we spend a ton of time together and thats tough for me sometimes and I get tired of it. So you can see why I definitely don't like the bickering either! It would be much easier if everyone would respect each other and work hard to reach our goals. We are working on a really tough cadence now and we're getting closer to getting it down with each time we practice it. We want to be able to play four cadences this year so that we can kick some K-State butt when their band comes to play (and, yeah, kick our butt in football).

There's so much going on! I'm finally tired so I'm going to crash.

--Eric