Every year that I've been in school I have always struggled with the fall semesters. I think that a lot of it has to do with my time eaten up from Marching Band. This is the end of the season, which means that the most difficult shows are being presented. So that means that I have to dedicate even more time to this activity, which I really can't because then I would fall behind in school. It's a very tough tradeoff and I feel like I'm always forced to choose band. I really hate to do that because I feel like I'm sacrificing my time for something that very little people really care about. I mean, I care about it and everyone else in the band cares about performing at their best, but not very many other people (the people actually watching the show) really care. It bothers me that the drum line needs to have additional practice time on top of our rehearsal time and sectional time (which for those keeping score at home is tonight at fucking 10 pm to Midnight or later!!!) and practice time on our own. We're playing for this marching festival on Saturday where high school marching bands from across the state and Missouri come and perform against each other. KU marching band numbers are down and we need a lot of recruiting so we have to play extra well to impress the high school students, let alone to try to hide the fact that we are much smaller than your average college marching band. So our drumline section leader Matt Lipponcott said yesterday that on top of all our sectional and rehearsal time that already eats up my studying for two tests this week as well as keeping up with reading for my other classes, we need another rehearsal at noon on Saturday when our call time for performance is at 4:30 pm later that day. So this means that yet another Saturday is sacrificed to band. I was talking with Jose on the way home last night from rehearsal and we noted that we literally have no life. We go to school all week, Saturday is shot due to band, then Sunday we have to work like mad on homework. Band is fun, but now I feel like I'm being betrayed by our drumline director because he told me when I was thinking about not coming back this year that there would be no more excessive rehearsals. Well, thats a fucking lie. Our sectionals were promised to be for one hour per week. It's two plus hours a week. Now on top of that we have additonal rehearsal time (which, may I add is really a glorified snare drum sectional!!!!!!). I'm fuming right now just thinking about this unjustice. It's times like these that I just hate myself for getting back into band. It just sucks and it wastes my time. But it makes me torn because I think the people that participate are great (w/exception to Lipponcott). I'm still thinking about doing band next year, but we'll have to see if I can really handle it. My classes are actually still going well. I'm just worried about the results from my politics midterm, but everything else is going well. I have a geography test tomorrow and an econ test the next day, but I really shouldn't stress about either about them because I've read all the geography and just have to take the practice tests and review the tough stuff and just take the tests. Plus it always has a huge curve becuase everyone is lost and doesn't give a shit. Econ should be good too because I just got my homework back and got a 92% on it by using minimal notes. Plus I'm going to a review session tomorrow morning and also picked up an additional review sheet (which has pretty much everything that I already know) so I'm confident about that.

It's just that I would like to have a little more free time to rest and put my feet up. Last night I came home around eleven thirty and Joe and I decided to play a game on the computer and planned to go to bed when the game got over. At midnight or a little after and the game was just about over, my dad came in and just started screaming at us for not being in bed and said that we didn't give a shit about him and his policies about staying up late and messing around on the computer. He has a point, yes. But he didn't need to scream at me, threaten us like that or say that we don't care about him. That really isn't true. My mom said the same thing this morning. He does have a point, but I just wanted to hang out with my brother and play a half hour game with him. Thats all. If he would just understand and let us do that, I think it would have been better. But he didn't know that he always assumes the worst out of us, so he always goes off on us when we do things like that. He said that if I ever do this again that I will get kicked out of the house by the next semester. It's ok, I'm hoping to get into scholarship hall anyway.

Which brings me to another worry that I'm currently experiencing. The deadline for the housing application is now in nine days. I don't know when my essays or recomendations need to be in, but I'm about half way finished on both. I found the essays that I wrote before my freshman year when I tried to apply (but didn't get in because of low ACT/SAT grades) and the questions are the same now as they were then. So at least I have something to work off of and I have already begun to do that. The main thing is finding the second of two recomendations that I need. I already have my drumline director (Keith Lloyd) filling out one. I tried calling my boss from my job this summer to fill out the second one twice now and haven't heard from him. So I'm still trying to desperately get in touch with him and finish the essays. On top of this I also have to take an education admissions test called the PPST. I heard it's easy, but not to take it for granted. I'm not good at all with these tests, so I'm really worried about taking them. I'm taking the math test in a week from thursday and the other two a week from that.

So obviously there are many things I have to worry about and accomplish. Right now I'm definitely doing much more worrying than doing and that needs to be stopped. I just need to keep studying hard for all of my tests and just get through the remaining of the marching season in a good fashion.

But this sucks and I'm tired of it. I need a break.

P.S. I watched Schindler's List w/Madeleine on Sunday night. That was a great movie. So sad and depressing though. I guess I'm so used to the events of the Holocaust that I felt kind of numbed by the movie and didn't cry at all. Madeleine saw the movie before and still cried. Good movie though.