We talked for four hours on the phone tuesday night. Two hours at a time. During he second two hour segment I noticed she was sniffing a lot and I thought she had a cold. She told me she was crying. She sure does a good job of hiding it. I couldn't hang up the phone. We tried at least seven times. Finally I just broke down crying. I'm just one that holds emotions in until the bitter end.

So now I'm sitting here in my new scholarship hall room. A new environment. The guys are nice to me and I think I'll meet some friends here. However, it still feels like my Freshman year because I don't have Madeleine to just go off and be alone with. It was so easy with her but now it's hard. Hard on my emotions. I just miss her a lot.

So I know some days will be better than others. Today is just not so good for me. Started school with a bunch of lousy snow on the ground to make it hard to move around, it took over an hour to get my car out of the parking lot because of the damn snow, and the situation with Oberon is just not working out. He keeps trying to bite my mom and bit her pretty bad the other day. With just my mom at home most of the time, she says it's too difficult to take care of him. He really is a pain. He never listens when you call him. I spent 2 hours when I got home today chasing him around so that he could come inside. He just wouldn't listen to me. And then when I grabbed him by the collar he tried to bite me too. Just turned his neck really viscously and just went for it. I called Joe to close the garage door because I had to hold him down. So, with much regret, we're taking him back to the humane society on Saturday. We're all down about it and realize that we made a mistake in bringing him into our home. But my dad the other night said that the chances of him being taken were slim anyway. There are so many dogs there. It's just so sad to think about it and realize that it didn't work out.

So I'm down. Wish I had Madeleine here. But I'm tough and I have stuff I can always be doing. So I'm just going to move on from here and do it.

I can do it.